Know about healthy boundaries for happy life
• Boundaries
are a way to take care of ourselves. When you understand how to set and
maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the feelings of resentment,
disappointment, and anger that build up when limits have been pushed.
The Importance Of Setting Boundaries
• Many
of us recognize that we are people-pleasers even though we don’t want to be.
You don’t want people thinking you’re rude or disrespectful.
• There’s
a fine line between being a good person and trying to make people think you’re
a good person
• Setting
boundaries might sound scary, but it gives you the freedom to spend time doing
what you love.
• Boundaries
tell others how you want to be treated (what’s okay and what’s not okay).
Boundaries protect you from being mistreated.
• Boundaries
create a healthy separation (physical and emotional) between you and others.
• Boundaries
give you, your own personal space and
privacy, your own feelings, thoughts, needs, and ideas.
What is loose
boundaries and rigid boundaries ?
Loose boundaries
means
• get too involved with others’ problems
• find it difficult to say “no” to others’
requests
• overshare personal information with others
• seek to please others for fear of rejection
Rigid boundaries
means
• keep others at a distance
• seem detached, even with intimate partners
• have few close relationships
• avoid close relationships
Types of boundaries
• Physical. This refers to your personal space,
your privacy, and your body. You might be someone who is comfortable with
public displays of affection (hugs, kisses, and hand-holding), or you might be
someone who prefers not to be touched in public.
• Sexual. These are your expectations
concerning intimacy. Sexual comments and touches might be uncomfortable for
you.
• Intellectual. These boundaries concern your
thoughts and beliefs. Intellectual boundaries are not respected when someone
dismisses another person’s ideas and opinions.
• Emotional. This refers to a person’s feelings.
You might not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about everything with a
friend or partner. Instead, you prefer to share gradually over time.
Financial. This
one, as you guessed, is all about money. If you like to save money — not spend
it on trendy fashions — you might not want to loan money to a friend
Tips for boundaries
·
Get crystal clear on your priorities: Getting
clear on your priorities will help you figure out what you’re actually willing
to spend your time and energy on.
·
Be direct and don’t apologize for your needs:
When communicating your boundaries, it’s most effective to be direct and
succinct.
·
Boundaries are for your own wellbeing, not to
control others Boundaries should never be an attempt to control or punish
others. They’re actually a form of self-care
·
Start small
: If you don’t have many boundaries in place already, the prospect of
introducing more might seem overwhelming — so build them up slowly.
·
Communicate what you will and will not
tolerate If the people around you
are always doing or saying things that frustrate you to your core, you have to
put your foot down. People will never know that what they’re doing is
unacceptable if you never tell them
·
Think about the impact of your actions Something that’s helped me to say no is
asking what type of impact an opportunity will have on myself and others. Will
it improve our lives or is there something that could make a bigger impact?
Think about the amount of time something will take compared to the amount of
positive impact it will have. If it will take up more time than it’s worth, say
no.
·
Offer an alternatives:
If someone asks you to do something and you don’t think you’re the right person
for the job, offer an alternative. Recommend a friend, a co-worker, or some
kind of tool that could help get the job done.
·
Set them
early : “Sometimes it can be really hard to start putting boundaries in,
especially in pre-existing relationships,”
·
By
setting boundaries and expectations from the very beginning, everyone knows
where they stand, and feelings of hurt, confusion, and frustration can be lessened.
·
Be direct and firm with your answer Don’t let
people talk you into or out of things. You can still be kind yet firm at the
same time.
·
Be consistent
: Don’t let people talk you into or out of things. You can still be kind yet
firm at the same time.
·
Create a
framework boundaries are “vary depending on the type of relationship.” However,
if you find it helpful, there’s no reason not to have a few basics in place
that can be adapted accordingly.
·
Always
have a plan B when plan A is failed
·
Feel free to add extras In some aspects of our lives, there are boundaries
already in place — such as in the workplace. But consider these the minimum.
Colleagues will likely have some of their own in place, and it’s okay for you
to add some too.
·
Be aware of social media These platforms
allow for more communication than ever, but they’ve also encouraged some
considerable boundary blurring.
·
Talk talk
talk : Communication is critical in the world of boundaries, especially if
someone consistently oversteps yours. While you might need to raise your
concerns, these discussions need not be confrontational.
·
Be your biggest champion For boundaries to
have a strong foundation, you need to show yourself a bit of love, notes Baker.
“If you’ve got a narrative in your head that says you’re worthless and
undeserving, then you’re going to find it difficult to put boundaries in place
that protect you,” she says. “A lot of it comes down to self-worth and
self-value.”
·
Gain some perspective Not having boundaries
can be detrimental to our mental health, but going too far and
over-thinking them can also impact our emotional well-being
